Dear Launderette Serial Flirters,

I have had a long day. I am tired. I am sweaty. I am doing laundry, or reading my book waiting for laundry to be done. Chances are I am not very receptive to your hitting on me.

True, I am never very receptive to complete strangers hitting on me. Please complain to the multiple guys who thought that my politely answering meant I was totally digging them. It makes you wary, after a while. And if I've never met you before you came up to me to tell me I have beautiful eyes, the chances that I dig you are slim. Very slim. Between naught and nonexistent, I'd say. (Especially, although that does not apply to doing laundry in the evening but has been known to happen before, if I am wearing shades. I mean, you're right, I do have beautiful eyes hidden behind the dark lenses, but I'm just not that into diviners. They give me the creeps.)

But even if I was into being hit on at random by complete strangers, I don't think that asking me for change would be the best route. I make sure to ask for change in the right denominations at the store and to keep the precious coins aside. And if I don't have enough, I go buy a bottle of water or a journal or something at a nearby shop rather than bother people who probably need their spare ones and fives as much as I do. So, well, it makes you look a bit irresponsible, especially if you let me know that you've used this laundromat many times before. And if turns out afterwards that you actually had enough coins, I'm not going to be flattered. I'm going to be pissed.

That said, your best chance to irk me is to ask me at what temperature to wash each piece of clothing. Because you see, I doubt that being a female makes me any more qualified than you to read the freaking label. And if by the age of thirty you haven't figured out how to wash your clothes on your own, be assured that I have no intention whatsoever to be the sweet chick who'll do it for you. You might want to go look up "independence" in the dictionary, too.

Also, I kinda hope you choke. K².